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Y2Clothing - The New Geek Chic
by Brett Singer
As everyone knows, men love their gadgets. But do they really want to wear them?
Millenium alert! Millenium alert!
No, your computer hasn't crashed and there were no major terrorist attacks in Times Square (although we wouldn't mind if they took care of the new WWF restaurant). There are some millennial developments that we need to discuss, however, namely -- gadget-oriented clothing.
Usually termed "wearable computers," these devices aim to turn human beings into bona fide cyborgs - half-human, half-machine.
The most popular of these inventions has a "head-mounted display," usually oversized goggles or a visor that covers the eyes, giving the wearer a large-screen image (Sony sells one for gaming purposes). They also have a microphone snaking off the helmet (a la Garth Brooks), and a CPU that is at least as powerful as the computer you bought last year, small enough to be worn on a little belt clip.
Many of these gadgets are extremely useful and could save lives. For example, there is a device being developed that a can be sewn into a shirt to monitor heartbeats, alerting the nearest physician at the first sign of distress. No more "I've fallen and I can't get up;" the ambulance will be there before you hit the carpet. And tapping a little metal square on your shirt pocket to communicate with your best bud a la "Star Trek" is not as far off as you think.
But what about the coolness factor? If we are being asked to wear these things, what are we going to look like? Of course, most of these technological marvels are being developed by scientists -- not a group of people known for their fashion-sense. Hence our question - how lame are us guys going to look sporting one of these things?
Alas, the answer is simple – we will look extremely, intensely, move-over-Mr. Furley LAME. While men may love their toys, they do not relish putting them on their bodies (imagine one of your friends walking into a party with their Sega DreamCast on their back, complete with a necklace made out of the latest CD-ROMs - "Hey, guys! How's it going?"), with the possible exception of dangling cell phone ear pieces, which also look stupid but are easier to hide. And as all men know from kindergarten, being called a nerd is one of the least pleasant things that can happen. And if it's not nerdy to wear a computer on your head, then we don't know what is.
Our advice - we're waiting until Armani or Calvin Klein come out with a sleek suit made entirely of microchips. When that graces a runway near you, then, and only then, will we re-consider. For now, stay far far away from any computer that adversely affects your appearance more than falling asleep on your keyboard.
For more about wearable computers (and pictures, too), check out these sites:
Wearable Computing Intro Page
(MIT)
http://wearables.www.media.mit.edu/projects/wearables/
Wearable Computer Systems
(Page maintained by the NICI Handwriting Recognition Group)
http://hwr.nici.kun.nl/pen-computing/wearables.html
Pictures of 'Jeff' wearing his computer:
http://www.devrycols.edu/ieee/jeffpage.htm
Other pics:
http://wearables.www.media.mit.edu/projects/wearables
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