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by Brett Singer
Shaving in the new millennium
"For thousands of years, men have been in constant conflict with their stubborn facial hair." So say the good people at Schick (http://www.schick.com/shave_hairwar_frame.html, "The War Against Shaving".) Though this is a bit dramatic, most men should know where they are coming from.
During puberty, men need to make a decision about the hair on their face: keep it or get rid of it. As adolescents, very few boys can grow a full beard. Most skip the peach-fuzz look and opt to scrape the excess hair from their mugs. This is but a preview for what is to come, however.
According to "Phillip Krumholz' Shaving and Barberiana" (http://www.heart.net/~krumholz/history.html) men have been removing unwanted body hair since caveperson days. "There are crude cave drawings which show beardless men," he writes. "There are razors made of stone…carbon-dated from the Neolithic Period…These early men also used crude tweezers to pluck hairs, which offered a painful solution to a less frequent shave."
Clearly this was unacceptable. Over time, humans developed better ways to remove unwanted hair. And as with so many things in life, differences between men and women became obvious. In our modern age, leg hair on women is considered unacceptable in the business world, especially if they plan to wear a skirt. In some ways this makes things easier -- no difficult hair-decision needs be made.
Men, on the other hand, have to choose -- beard? Mustache? Clean-shaven? If it's a mustache, what kind? Handlebar? Wispy? The list goes on and on. (The Fuzzface Gallery has more: http://www.zap.org/fuzface/). Many take these choices extremely seriously, such as the Mustache Summer page (http://www.mustachesummer.com/). Women have been known to make judging-a-book-by-its-cover type of decisions when they see a man with a beard (i.e., "He's creepy," "No, he's mysterious," etc.).
These days, choices of facial hair are, like so much of our lives, determined by our chosen profession. For example, Larry Ellison (CEO of stock market darling Oracle Corporation) can sport a beard if he wants to -- he's filthy rich, and owns his own company. That said, he hardly has a scraggly Willie Nelson beard. Trimmed, clean, and of consistent length (at least in his press photos), Ellison has facial hair that many men envy.
Speaking of Willie, he is not what one might call 'fashionable' or 'stylish.' However, his beard fits him well, and also suits his profession - he's a filthy (and rich) guitarist, singer, and songwriter.
Now take Tom Hanks. Best known for his leading man roles -- cross-dressing comedians, mentally challenged opportunists, heroic astronauts -- Hanks sports a Robinson Crusoe look in his latest film 'Cast Away' (yet to be released - check it out at http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/p/nm/20000329/en/mdf62908.html). Clothes may or may not make the man. But a beard certainly helps one get into character.
So what is Joe Average, Johnny Punchclock and Frankie DatabaseAdministrator to do with their faces? Here are some tips:
1. If you work in an office, even a hip Internet company, you must (a) shave every day, or (b) have a beard when you get hired and keep it. It is also acceptable if you come back from a long vacation (using all the time you saved up while net-slaving) and presto! -- you have a beard. No deliberate "shadows" allowed -- Don Johnson's Miami Vice look went out with pants with unnecessary zippers.
2. If you work alone, either at home or in a similarly self-employed fashion, do what you like. One factor to consider for the occasional face-to-face contact that you will undoubtedly have (even if it's only via web cam) is what image you want to project. People will remember what you look like when you are not present. Do you want them to picture you with beard or without? If your wife will refuse to kiss you if your face feels like sandpaper, that's a decision you two will have to work out for yourselves.
3. This advice applies to so many things -- don't try to emulate someone else unless you are SURE you can pull it off. Jack Nicholson got away with his Oscar-night mustache. If Billy Crystal had done the same thing, he would have been laughed off the stage. The lesson is: As with clothes and hair, just because it looked good in a magazine on a coifed and/or cool movie star/model, that does NOT mean it will look good on you. If you are unsure what to do with an idea you have, ask a female whose opinion you trust.
This is a big topic, and we've only scratched the surface (har har). Take a good hard look at your face, fellas. Elvis would not be Elvis without the muttonchops. You, however, are not Elvis. Or even Larry Ellison. Put simply -- if you think it looks good, and your significant other and your co-workers will still speak to and/or kiss you (not necessarily in that order), you are in good shape. If not, you may want to hit the local drugstore, grab a Bic and some Barbasol, and get scrapin'.
SHAVING LINKS:
Art of Shaving Gentlemen Barber Spa
http://newyork.citysearch.com/E/V/NYCNY/0030/67/29/cs1.html
The Ultimate Shave
http://www.ultimate-shave.com/sample.htm
QuickShave razors
http://www.webspawner.com/users/QuikShaveRazors/
Shaving History
http://www.iavbbs.com/gflinn/history.htm
Phillip Krumholz' Shaving and Barberiana
A Short History of Shaving
http://www.heart.net/~krumholz/history.html
Shaving The Black Man
http://www.smooth-inc.com/html/company_history.html
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