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by Brett Singer
The great Randy Newman sang, "Short
people got no reason to live." Maybe, maybe not -- but they sure do
have a lot of places to shop. Unless you fall into the 'super petite'
category, most average-to-shorter-than-average male shoppers can
purchase clothing pretty much anywhere. Plus they don't have to worry
about banging their heads on doorways or breaking their backs while
bending over to use a sink. In case you haven't guessed, your GuyShop columnist is of the tall (and occasionally bitter) variety. If you are too, you know too well the pain of buying shirts that fit about as well a hot-air balloon (just to get the arm length); the hassle of trying on pants that belong on a circus clown (just to get the leg length), and the wonders of paying extra for shoes because they are over a size 12 (Does the extra leather cost THAT much? Never mind). Here are a few hints for living with tallness in a short person's world:
1. Buy custom
This is perhaps the best advice to heed if you are anything but an average size (and maybe even if you are). Custom shirts and suits don't cost that much (sometimes as little as $50 per shirt if you buy during a sale) and unlike everything else you've ever worn in your miserably large-sized life they will fit perfectly. In New York City, we like Mohan's Custom Tailors (60 E 42nd St. #1753, 212.697.0050) -- in your area look under 'Clothing: Custom' in the yellow pages to find what you need. You can find a list of custom clothing makers on Yahoo! (http://dir.yahoo.com/Business_and_Economy/Companies/Apparel/Men_s/Custom_Made/).
2. Buy in bulk
So you've found a shirt you like, and the cut actually suits you (no pun intended). You know what? BUY SIX. This way you don't have to go shopping again for a while (big plus), and you have shirts that fit better than usual. The same goes for pants, socks, and especially shoes and sneakers. As any tall guy knows, footwear can fit quite differently depending on the brand, even if they are the same size -- in other words, size 14 Rockports we love (they fit), size 14 Florsheims we don't (too small). If you like the shoes, buy three pairs of the same style, and stick two of them in the closet to use the first pair wears out.
3. Shop at good stores -- when there's a sale
Barneys New York has some fantastic men's clothing - if your bank account is the size of Bill Gates's. Their famed bi-annual Warehouse Sale is still not cheap, but it is much much much cheaper than usual (30 to 70 percent off means some good deals, dudes). Our advice -- look for sport coats. They'll last awhile, and even if you spend an outrageous amount of money on them (you know, like more than fifty bucks), you'll be glad when you go to a meeting or a party and everyone tells you how nice your jacket fits.
4. Talk to other tall guys
This is not quite as weird as talking to other men while standing at the urinal, but it's close. Here's the scoop -- women always ask other women about their clothes. Men don't. But they CAN. Don't be shy -- just ask your friend or your friend's friend or your friend's friend's friend where they got their clothes. Just don't do it in the men's room, or when too many other people are around – it could ruin your rep as a "real man."
So what have we learned, men? Buy clothing made to fit your special curves (or lack thereof). Buy lots of something if you decide you like it, or more importantly, if it fits right. Buy on sale, unless you are Bill Gates. Talk to other men about what they buy, but not in the bathroom. Follow these rules, and you will be the happiest (and best-dressed) tall guy you know.
Happy Shopping!
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