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by Brett Singer
The way to a man's heart is through
his stomach, and the path to a woman's is similar. Bottom line -- there
is nothing quite like a man who can cook. Follow our advice and you
will be as skilled with ladies as James Bond as skilled with the ladle
as Julia Child. Part I: Making the Date
No matter what the state of your love life is, planning is involved. For the married/living together, block off an evening (put it in pen or Palm Pilot), and find out if the lady is available. If she is busy, tell her you plan to cook. When she awakens after fainting, tell her you read this great article online that told you everything you need to know.
If you are still at the dating stage, it is necessary to gauge the level of your relationship. That's a bigger topic, to be sure, but keep in mind (a) how long you've been together, (b) how serious the relationship is, and (c) whether or not she has enough of a sense of humor to manage on burnt meatloaf.
No matter your personal situation, Friday and Sunday evenings are good choices -- Friday being the end of a work week and a relaxing evening at home could be quite welcome, Sunday being not Saturday and therefore less pressure exists to do something supremely stellar.
Part II: Choosing the Meal
This part requires more information -- what will she eat? Is your ladylove vegetarian, vegan, kosher (no meat and dairy together) or Catholic (no meat on Fridays)? Are YOU vegetarian, vegan, kosher or Catholic? Ideally you will know the answer to both of these questions (especially the second one), but if you don't, find out. Vegetarians abound, and nothing is more embarrassing than a man who sweatily presents a woman with a thick T-bone when she would prefer a ton of tofu.
For the purposes of this article, we'll assume no extreme dietary restrictions and stick with something simple -- chicken.
Part III: The Menu
Chicken is usually eaten by anyone who isn't a vegetarian, so it remains the safest choice for a romantic meal. Fried is out, as it is (a) unhealthy and (b) she will think you are trying to fatten her up and this will make her mad. It also goes well with a variety of side dishes (for tips see the Men's Easy Guide to Cooking at http://www.springfield-or.com/cookbook/meals.htm).
Start with an oft-ignored part of the home-cooked meal -- the wine. Get a bottle of something that goes with your meal, in this case, something white. If you are wine-stupid, spend at least $20 to assure yourself of getting something that does not in any way resemble Thunderbird.
Keeping in mind your health and hers, we offer the following original recipe that we call Chicken For Love:
CHICKEN FOR LOVE
Ingredients:
2 chicken breasts, washed with the fat trimmed off
Vegetables – several peppers (green, red, and also orange and yellow if available), zucchini, yellow squash,
1 can of peeled whole tomatoes with the tomato juice drained
White wine for cooking (you can use the good stuff, or pick up a cheaper bottle and keep it in the fridge)
Lemon juice
Preparation:
Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees. Cut the peppers and squashes into medium-sized pieces -- zucchini about half an inch thick, and the peppers into quarter-inch wide strips. Discard all seeds, stems and other flotsam and jetsam. Take a large and deep baking pan (Pyrex is good, those are the glass kind that come in pretty colors) and spray it with Pam or another unflavored cooking spray. Place a small amount of the pepper and squash slices on the bottom of the pan, then put the chicken breasts on top of them. Smother the chicken with the remaining vegetable pieces.
Pour about two parts wine/one part lemon juice all over the now-full pan, tasting the mixture to make sure it isn’t too winey OR too lemony. Place in the oven and cook until the chicken is tender and the vegetables are soft but not soggy -- 30 minutes should do it, but it could be more like 45. Suggestion: cut off a small piece of chicken and use it as a taste test occasionally (check it at 15 minute intervals). Serve immediately -- place one chicken breast on each plate and smother with vegetables and a little sauce (the wine and lemon juice flavoring will have been absorbed by the food, so no need to drown the poor things). A hunk of Italian or French bread is a nice touch.
Part IV: The Décor, and Your Attire
Whether you live the bachelor life or the married one, be nice and clean the apartment/house, paying particular attention to the room in which you will dine. Even if you have no real dining room, make one by setting the table well, and be sure to include at least two candles. Wear something nice, but also something you can spill food on without ruining it -- you are cooking, remember. An apron isn't a bad idea either - you'll keep your clothes clean, and there are men's aprons now that won't make you look like Mrs. Cunningham (http://www.bishopaprons.com/ApronStyles.htm). With both your clothes and your home, less is more -- wear a nice shirt, but a tie is unnecessary.
Ditto for decorating your dining area like the Russian Tea Room or T.G.I. Friday's. Take stock of what you already have, and consider picking up a couple of candlesticks (and holders) if you don't have any. Other than that, keep it simple. You want the focus to be on the food, and the fact you cooked it yourself.
Follow our advice and you are sure to reinforce your marriage or put some permanence into a newer relationship. Bon appetit!
Yahoo! Cooking directory:
http://dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Food_and_Drink/Cooking/
Ask A Chef Message Board:
http://www.askachef.com/messagebd/
Men's Easy Guide To Cooking - Foods That Go Well Together:
http://www.springfield-or.com/cookbook/meals.htm
Cooking For Men - exactly what it says:
http://www.cookingformen.com/
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